When the beginning is actually the middle

Overcoming obstacles that can stop you before you even begin.

-by Stacy Helbling

Lily got her driver’s license today. We are so proud of her!! Our sweet girl spent most of her childhood and teenage years in Tanzania. In Tanzania you can’t drive until you’re 18. She patiently waited to return to America where she could start learning to drive. But just days after she got back to America the lockdown started and the DMV was closed for months. It was a hard pill for my extra-motivated 17-year-old to swallow. Eventually, the DMV opened up again, she took her written test, got her permit and did her behind-the-wheel training. And finally, she did it!! She took her test and passed… a year and a half later.

Lily is not the only one who accomplished something big this week. Ryan and I did something big too. We threw our stuff in our trailer, gave Grampy a big hug goodbye, and drove off into the sunset. Well, the sun wasn’t actually setting since it was only an hour past noon, but either way, we started our trip. And while our Sing Truth USA Tour had officially begun, that wasn’t the REAL beginning. Our real journey actually started many moons earlier when we first decided to do this tour.

More than a year ago, we made the decision to chase our dream. That is when the journey began. At first we took little steps towards our goal. As the time got closer, our steps became bigger. We bought a trailer… and then a truck. We realized the truck should have a camper shell, so we bought that too. Of course, they all needed work. The trailer had water damage and the truck needed a new transmission. So we got right to it. We gutted the trailer, had the transmission rebuilt, put new brakes on the truck, and fixed the windows on the camper.

We faced a lot of challenges, but for almost every challenge that arose, there was a solution. Sometimes the solution involved hard work. And while hard work is hard, it is also rewarding. But there was a more challenging kind of challenge. Facing the internal questions and unknowns is scarier than fixing a trailer kitchen or truck tailgate.

Will we really be able to pull this thing together? Can we afford it? Are our kids musical enough to be a band? Is everything going to be shut down because of Covid? Are there churches and families out there that will open their doors to us? Will we be safe? Is it going to be enjoyable or are the kids going to be miserable? I have to confess, for months I wavered between feeling like this tour would be the greatest adventure EVER to feeling like it was the worst idea on the planet. One minute I was full of faith that everything would work out ok. The next I felt like we were the most foolish, irresponsible parents ever!!

On more than one occasion I was ready to throw in the towel before I had even gotten in the shower!! I wanted to give up. I have seen many journeys end before they ever begin. Not because of the practical challenges but because of those unknowns and “what-ifs”…the worries and fears.

But I was ready when those hard moments came. Thankfully, I have trained for moments like these. I actually have years and years of experience. Thirteen years of training in Tanzania, where life is full of those worrisome questions.

These are steps I take to encourage myself on the long road to the beginning.

I BUILD MY FAITH
I am so glad that Ryan and I are not alone in this journey. If we had to rely on our own smarts, our own finesse, and our own checkbook, we would crash in a day. The biggest thing that keeps me going is knowing that we are not alone. Thankfully, we have a partner who knows how to get things done. He has endless finances, lots of connections, and a work force of angels that is unstoppable. I joke, but I’m not teasing. God is BIG and He is our Father who is for us!!! And since God and I are in this partnership together, he expects me to bring my best me to the table, to give it my all. But at the end of the day, I believe Him to get the job done.

I REST IN TRUST
My trust is what keeps me sane in the process. Especially when things aren’t going the way I had hoped or planned. There are always going to be some disappointments along the way. If there weren’t we wouldn’t be real. And disappointment is what knocks a lot of people off the course. One of my all-time favorite scriptures is Romans 8:28. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” It doesn’t say, God makes everything happen exactly the way we want. It says, God, in his bigness is able to take everything that happens, whether it is good or bad, and make it work for our good. I hold tight to this one when I don’t like the direction things seem to be headed, and I rest in the knowledge that my Father is taking care of it.

I REMIND MYSELF OF THE REASON
I have never accomplished anything significant without having at least a few moments when I felt like quitting. Big dreams often come along with a big price tag. Sacrifice is required/necessary. And, to be honest, I don’t really like sacrifice. The only way I have found to help me move past those moments is to remember why I am doing what I am doing. For me, this trip is about a few things. I want my kids to learn to serve. I want them to see that the world is a lot bigger than our little Moshi town in Tanzania. And I want to have fun. But more than anything, I want to bring encouragement to people. I am convinced that without hope, our efforts are pointless. And that the more hope we have, the bigger impact we can have. I also believe that we can’t have real hope without experiencing the God of Hope. I have a passion burning in me to spread hope around America. because people are hurting and hope seems to be in low supply right now. Our family has a lot of it. Enough to share, actually.